Rant

Last week, I answered what appeared to be a telemarketer call. I was all prepared to be haughty: "No, I am not interested in your Double Platinum Sky Mile Reward Program Credit Card." Instead, I got "Ma'am, are you currently at a Toys R Us in Plantation, FL? Cuz your debit card is and it's about to be charged for $385". Wha???? No, currently I am in my kitchen freaking out because of this phone call, and Lovey is walking The Beast.

Luckily, the Nice Fraud People DECLINED the charge, and the $385 stayed securely in our bank account. Then Nice Fraud Lady says, "We're going to have to cancel your debit card for your protection. Please contact your bank for a replacement." Thank you, Nice Fraud Lady. Looking out for me. Hugs!

After Lovey repeatedly asked me if I had given out any personal information (what am I, stupid?), we called the card company to order us new cards. With a promise of new cards in 3-4 business days, we sighed in relief that all was right in our world again.

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Let's fast forward to today. It has been dang near ten business days and I am still debit-less. There are several places I would rather eat glass than to enter. The post office would be the first, closely followed by the bank. In the past week, I have had to go to the bank not once, but twice, to withdraw money from our bank account. Grumble, grumble. On my second visit, the Cute Counter Girl says, "You know we can make you a duplicate card right here in the bank now, right?" Um, noooooooo! That most certainly would have been information I would have liked to possess before now. I tell her how long ago this little debacle started and she confidently tells me, "I"m sure it should be there today."

That was two days ago. Today I went to the bank for the third time. I was on a mission to leave with two brand new debit cards. The Nice Customer Service Lady calls the credit card people to check on the order. On my end, I hear her say "They were mailed on the 21st?" And BOOM! My head exploded just a little bit. Because that was yesterday! She quickly backtracked and said that they were not mailed yesterday and that I should expect to get them in a day or two at the very latest. Then she smiled warmly at me and nodded her head.

Here's where I call Bullshizz. I am in the people bidness, too. I have been known to (on rare occasions, of course!) to *adjust * a timeline by a day or month to appease a client. I know your dirtly little game, lady.

I think my disfavor of SCShmee&G has been documented here before. If I do not have a shiny new card in my hot little hand by Saturday, Schmouth Cakilakki Federal Credit Union will also be on my Poo List. Not to mention, Lovey has threatened to divorce the bank for good. Luckily, he was on his very first business trip in California. It probably wouldn't have been as pretty if he had been in this zip.

Here's the thing. There was nothing necessary that I absolutely needed to buy this week. I would have liked to buy a nice bag of spinach for salads. I just Did.Not.See me using a credit card in a grocery store for a $3 purchase. Someone else used my account, but I felt like I was being punished by the forced estrangement from my funds. The least they could have offered to do is priority mail me a card. Something! As it is, I give the bank a Big Ol' Stinky Eyeball Look whenever I pass it - which is daily. I'm watching you, Bank. I have a blog, and I'm not afraid to use it.