Eight Sticks of Butter

A few last words about Thanksgiving. Yes, I used almost 8 entire sticks of butter making everything. And you know what? It was DEElicious. Thanksgiving is no time to scrimp on ingredients.

Here's my basic theory:

• Bacon makes anything better.
• There is no such thing as low-fat mayonaisse
• Butter good.

So I didn't even use mayo, but I had to throw that in there.

Here are a few pictures of my table. I see that a lot of design bloggers showed theirs so I'm going to copycat them.







The orange votives are actually from our wedding. Packrattery sometimes pays off. Linens are from Huge Lots. Punkins are from Tuesday Morning - $4!

It was a huge amount of work, but it was worth every minute. The only non-perfect dish was the Green Bean Casserole - which was disappointing because everything I've made from The Pioneer Woman has been so excellent. I guess everyone has a down day. I will admit though.....getting sick of leftovers. Think this may be my last day of turkey for a while.

Jive Turkey

A few weeks ago...

Lovey: "Let's fry a turkey for Thanksgiving".

Me: "Good thing we live within two miles of the fire department and the hospital".

So I'm a pretty decent cook. However, I don't do turkey. I'd have to Google to figure out how to even roast one. Not my thing. So when Lovey started talking about frying the bird, I was a mite concerned. I've seen the allstate commercial. Burned down house, burned loved one! But I was trying to be a trouper. I even bought the requisite box of peanut oil. I picked out a spot for the cooker at least twenty-five feet from the house. I printed out a Paula Deen (Hey, yaww!) recipe for a fried turkey.

Last night, Lovey cleaned the pot and bought more oil.

I started assembling all the other tasty vittles at 8:30 this morning. At 10:30, Lovey comes downstairs and asks, "How long does it take to roast a turkey?"

Um, what? Have you seen the oven? Dish of dressing, dish of sweet potatoes, dish of green bean casserole???? What the heck?

So Lovey decides that we do not possess all the necessary equipment to fry said turkey. You might say I was a little peeved. My well-oiled kitchen machine was getting a little grindy.

Luckily, Mama Lovey (MIL) assembled the bird for roasting. It actually turned out well. Thanksgiving disaster diverted.

I got a text from my Best Girl in the World this afternoon asking how the frying adventure went. I assured her that with 8 gallons of peanut oil in the house, something's getting fried this weekend.

Thanksgiving Menu

Fried, er Roast Turkey*

Collards

Sweet Potato Casserole

Green Bean Casserole

Cornbread Dressing

Cranberry Sauce

Grilled Corn

Rolls

Chocolate Ricotta Pie

Blackberry Nantucket Pie

Almond Whipped Cream

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

*You know there's a story there. Check back later. It's HIlarious.

Really?

Who exactly is this news to?



Umm, men?

'Member?

Remember last summer when the a/c went out, and we laughed and laughed? Well, it ain't so funny when it's the heat. Sweatshirt. Sweatpants. Monkey slippers. At least if I keep typing, it will keep my hands warm. Er, maybe?

Confirmed.

The call came around 8:45 this morning. It was my realtor, V.

"My" house sold on Thursday, October 28th. Devastating. Maybe there was a reason I chose to dress in all black today. Monday sucks enough as it is. This....was horrible.

So in an ode to my lost "love"......



There'll never be another K's Barbie Dream House. At least until I build my own.

We Pet The Puppy

About a month ago, Lovey had Columbus Day off. Because he has one of those fancy government jobs, yo!

He calls me all excited about a house he'd just found. "Oh, my gosh! You've got to see this thing! It's awesome! It backs up to the marsh! It has a 3-car garage. You've got to see this!"

Me: "What's the address?"

Lovey: "1701 Blah Blah Street". Whut. That's the real name, for sers.

Me: "Well....the good news is it's marked down $149K. The bad news is it's still $650,000.

Lovey: "Oh.....Well, it's an awesome house".

Naturally, when I got off we went back over to the neighborhood. Naturally. Even though we can't afford it. And what do you know? A door was unlocked. Serendipity, I tell you!

So we headed in. And we looked around. And I fell in love. I pet the puppy. Now, all I can think about is the Damn Puppy!

She's beautiful.....



Omigosh. Omigosh. Omigosh. I love her like she's my own.



Here's Lovey's favorite: a 3+ car garage. And plenty of room for my Green Room projects. And an office for me on the ground floor. Squee!

And here's K's Barbie Dream Kitchen:



Could you pleeaasse look at that island? Look at all that storage for all the cookbooks I don't use!

And! And!



Here's the back. Look at all those beautiful windows! And the screened porch! And the DOUBLE DECKS! What? I'm about to hyperventilate all over again. I wouldn't even bother to cover all of those glorious windows up. See, look what kind of money I just saved. Sigh....

Seriously....I have moved every stick of furniture and clothes into this house. As far as I'm concerned, my address is now 1701 Blah Blah. Can't help it. There is Not One Thing I would change about this house. It is perfection.

Then yesterday.....Lovey looked up the listing like we do nearly everyday. It's off the market. Status unknown. Hopefully that means the nice bank has purchased it and is keeping it off the market until I can sell enough plasma and/or scratch off enough lottery tickets to buy it. Alas, my eggs are too old to sell. Because unfortunately, even if you LOOK young, your parts still are old. Bastards.

The only good news is that being the resourceful little lady I am, I found the actual floorplan. And have been compulsively studying it. So if some good-for-nothing ho bag did indeed buy my house (hope her furniture is ugly!), I can build my own Barbie Dream House. Until then, here I sit heartbroken at 424 Stupid Little House Lane. Not bitter. No, not bitter. Not me.